health

I think I need to see a doctor or...psychologist...
I don't feel right anymore.
I get awfully depressed.
My life is falling apart.
I owe a shit load of money.
People are worried about me. They don't know whats wrong but some can see it.
I want to smile, I want to be happy.
I want to be mentally stable to have a relationship.
I'm so lost.

A little background.
2ish years ago. I had to be rushed in to see a psychologist.
because me and my dad got in a fight about nothing and I started to inflict pain on myself.
I tore a chunk out of my hand, and didn't feel any of it. (it wasn't on purpose, it was just a fit of rage and a folding chair did it.)
I walked across a road, a busy road, and didn't even look for a car. I couldn't stop myself it just felt like something took over.

The psychologist said I had a case of bad depression.
I decided against the pills and the continued therapy. Because I felt 'normal' again
She told me, that it would come back one day.

I think all this stress Ive had over the last 4 months, has made it come back.

and I'm scared.